Apology to the Little Match Boy

My Apology to the Little Match Boy

Someone I think highly of suggested I atone for past transgressions. The following admission is my first attempt. Be gentle, I'm not great at apologies.

Back in high school I had a certain group of friends. Ok so we were probably rather nerdy (thanks Carey, I'd remembered something a little more socially acceptable, however I fear nerdy would be most correct.) So all my classes I saw the same group of people on the same graduation plan as myself. One of the classes we had to take to fulfill requirements of our plan was Computer Math. Now Computer Math was usually reserved for upper classmen, however one boy in particular, a freshman named Joseph, managed to ingratiate himself into our ranks.
Being upper classmen afforded us the opportunity to pick on those younger than ourselves. Joseph received the moniker "Little Match Boy" when I casually mentioned that he might possibly could have been maybe the person who had been setting fires in the boys' restrooms. Despite being falsely accused by me, he was actually the reason I passed Computer Math. Sorry, Mr. Wag, it was all Joseph. To this day I still have no clue what the hell I'm doing on the computer.

So ok, my conscience is getting the better of me. I admit to the following: Yes it was my idea to change the settings on the aviation programs in the class from a fair sunny day, to a hurricane force storm at night. I also take the blame for coming up with the idea of changing all the icons on the computers to their rightful spam names. Hello Spammy McDonald! (sorry Sammy, that was me too). Mr. Wag I must confess though, when you took your leave of absence and we were stuck with that straight laced white guy, what was his name? The one we gave all that hell to, Joseph should be exonerated, despite our constant berating of him not to help us, he did NOT in fact help to create the "If/Then" counselling program.....That was all Carey's idea. I just wish I had the courage of my convictions to stand up to her and tell her it was a waste of our time. (yeah right)

Joseph wherever you are, I hope you're not setting fires somewhere in the bathroom. Just know that to this day, I still don't know how to do jack on the computer, and I blame you for always doing it for me.

My heartfelt apologies Little Match Boy. Sorry for picking on a freshman, it couldn't have been easy on you being around us bad influences, you can now cross me off that Billy Madison hitlist you've been carrying around for ten years.

S

In which I am stalked by the serial killing hobbit

This breaking news just in! Apparently one of the "hunks" I've been set up with on the dating site that shall remain nameless, is a drunk driver/dope fiend/illegal alien/child molestor. One of those, possibly all of the above though.

I received word from the site this afternoon that he was being removed from the site for "uncited reasons". It was strongly suggested that I discontinue all further correspondence with him if I valued my skin. What the hell does that mean? "It puts the lotion on its skin or it gets the hose again" So great, they set me up with a damn serial killer.

I didn't bother responding to the geniuses that I in fact had already discerned something not quite right about this fella, secretly I just used that an excuse, the truth was I quit talking to him because he was 5'4". I'm a horrible person.

I can reconcile myself to that fact. I ain't trying to breed with the Hobbit, you know what I'm saying? (I think it would be more gangsta if I said sayin'!)

You know what I'm sayin'!

S

Spitter and Texter

Spitter and Texter

so James twisted my arm and made me join an online dating service. Since I am cruel and vindictive, I've decided to talk about my recent conquests until I can think of something better to do with my free time (like study)
First there was the Texter. He was charming to begin with and it was kinda exciting getting texts at work while I was supposed to be working. However it quickly went downhill when he "thought it would be hot" if i texted dirty to him. I've been propositioned for phone sex before, I didn't even know text sex was an option. Those of you who know and love me (ok know me) realize how technically challenged I am, it woulda never worked out. C U L8R!

Quickly followed by the Spitter. This one actually made it out of the city with my person and we went to some pub. There was polish soccer, there were obnoxious drunk people, and they weren't even related to me. And after the consumption of large quantities of alcohol the spitting commenced. I tried to play it off at first, but the shower continued the more passionate he became about his topic. Thankfully it wasn't text sex or that coulda gotten messy. As he regaled me with tales of rc aircraft(I think) he was kinda incoherent between the drunks and the soccer game, and the whatnot. In the Spitter's defense he was much more gentlemanly than the Texter. Door opener and allthat.

Despite all these mishaps,I find myself enjoying going and doing things.

Man I wonder if I can work it where I can get dinner every night between now and payday. Sure would help my finances out tremendously.

S