Things Not to do Drunk

Things Not to do While Drunk
*I admit to nothing

1. go to Wal-Mart
2. try to pick a fight with a 10 yr old boy in Wal-mart
3. attempt to climb inside the counter where they keep the clippers (why are they under lock and key anyway? are there people running willy nilly in wal-mart shaving heads?)
4. try to self-checkout
5. try to make change
6. try to outrun the old fart who wants to see your receipt
7. try to text in multisyllabic words
8. attempt to "hold it in"-- it needs to come out, and not in the car!
9. feed 80 pound dogs from hell
10. kick ass at trivia! (Number one in the nation baby!)