You're no Jay and Grant

Everyone knows that summer tv sucks. Latest case in point: Ghosthunters International. What a disappointment. It's like Scooby Doo and the gang loaded up in the Mystery Machine and took off for parts unknown.

I love to be scared. I'm thrilled by the thought of life existing after our bodies expire, not in a creepy way, but in a scientific way. I love me some Ghosthunters. Jay and Grant rock, they go out and try to prove to everyone what sissies they are when they hear their floors creaking and swear it's the child murdered by Civil War era soldiers with a bazooka.

The international people suck! They are being led by some guy, whose name escapes me, that looks like a serial killer that you'd see hanging out a truckstop, only better groomed. (I used to live next door to a guy who looks just like him except with hippie hair, trust me I know these things). His bug eyes are surely what enable him to see ghosts EVERY DAMN PLACE THEY'VE BEEN TO!

His trusty sidekick Andy the Uber Midget is no better. Lest you think I detest Andy merely by virtue of the fact that he's horizontally challenged, fret not. Andy is the smarmy, smirking IT guy who shows up to work gleefully smug when you ask for help.

Brian, along with Andy was on the original show. I think he was tossed because he's such a screwup. He's about as useful as the two chicks they have on the show. Chicks with yankee accents, blech. I can't help it, I just see Mike Meyers doing his "Cawfee Tawk" impression and I can't take them seriously. "Are youse upset that weah heah?" Even if German ghosts could understand English, I doubt very much they would understand them.

The show's only saving grace is Patty O'Blarneystone. He's so full of shit. I don't think he takes the ghost thing too seriously. He's always the first one to see something and convince the rest of them that in fact did too. He's encountered snarling dogs, demons and any manner of other European thing that the Americans have never heard of. He's an interesting study of the power of suggestion.

O Jay and Grant! How I long to see you yet again. Jay with your smartassed comments that melt my heart and Grant your calm, collectedness that eludes me.

S